The Writer and Michelangelo; an Editing Journey

In 1993, I spent a week in Rome. As the years pass, many of my memories fade of that trip, but standing beside and beneath Michelangelo's statutes of The Pieta and Moses? That experience will never go away. How can you ever forget such vibrant warm life created out of marble? I marvel at his ability to see those characters hiding inside that cold block of raw material. I'm staggered by the time it took to complete them, as well as the time and practice it took to obtain the technical skills to create them. That is not a miracle but determination and dedication.

My daughter calls it positive space. She should know. She's an art teacher. To me, I know only that Michelangelo had to remove what didn't belong to get to what did.

As writers in the editing phase, we must do that as well. We create our marble block, although ours is a gooey mushy clump-like clay, but once the plot and characters are there? The clump becomes hard, unyielding marble that a writer must chisel. It isn't a passive endeavor. You have to sweat to chip those parts away. Your muscles quiver with the effort. Your mind becomes exhausted.

When you finish the big chunk removal, you move on to the tiny and infinitesimal. Each word, each sentence, each paragraph, each chapter until you reach the warmth and shine of your true story beneath the crud. As you do it? The time passes--sometimes months--until your heart beats harder and your soul cries out as you see the small glimpses of what your story will become. Like Michelangelo, you apply the chisel to find the heart hiding within the cold block of marble.

I will never reach the perfection of Michelangelo, but I will try. I will never stop trying.

Review: David Baldacci's new YA fantasy THE FINISHER--not your normal Baldacci.

Mixed feelings on this. Would love your take on it if you read it.

The Finisher by David Baldacci  For aspiring writers, obtain a hard copy and edit the omniscient recaps and Mary Sue* angst out. Then read the flow to see an immediate improvement to the writing style. What were the editors and Baldacci thinking?

Goodreads review:
Starts slow; ends strong. Labelled as a stand-alone but feels like the first in a series. NOT FOR THE CRIME FICTION BALDACCI FANS. BE FOREWARNED. THE TITLE IS NOT AN ASSASSIN.

As a writer, I'm warned against so many things--which Baldacci (if this is truly Baldacci) breaks in this fantasy. Something the crime fiction writer Baldacci would never do. First, the MC begins weak and spends too much time mentally verbalizing her situation when the action and dialog clearly are sufficient. This is so agonizingly repeated and time consuming that I twice put the book down. The editors weren't tough enough, didn't bother, or the author wasn't up to the task. Crime fiction writer Baldacci knows better. So what the heck is going on? This was fixable, but wasn't.

The main character goes around obtaining magical items like a common & boring RPG game--all with too much Mary Sue angst. Yes, she grows into the power she obtains, but she falls and trips into them. She is constantly agonizing over her interior conflicts--that are no brainers for even the weak minded. Then you're hit once again by the ever yet repeated omniscient character voice, "If I had known this would happen, I wouldn't..." Then you live through what is going to happen. Complete novice writer foolishness. So frustratingly irritating. This was fixable, but wasn't.

The world is rich and unique but full of inconsistencies and the main character is too easily provided luck happenstance which is basic scifi/fantasy 'never do' rules. Again a clear sign of weak writing. Again, this was fixable, but wasn't.

"Yet, you give it a four star? What's with that, Meg?" you ask. Because it was fixable and the underlying story is worth the read and the frustration. Even I, an inept editor at best, could have made this worlds better with more tightening. In fact, I heard this rather than read the book. If I'd had the hard copy, I would have crossed off every foolish recap out of sheer anger.

The ending redeems it. The one on one Hunger Game-y type ending works although the reason for it being in the book is not explained, nor why this year--of all the world's history--adds in its 2nd class women to fight. At least it wasn't on a platter and she had to go through some clever plot twists to be included as a younger. (Redeeming feature.)

Why would Baldacci chose to write this barely disguised RPG? Does he have a young daughter ready to take off on her own? If so, okay. I see where it came from. It provides moral guidance and advice. It has super tension in the last 2/3s proving that the author has what it takes to sustain an excellent story, but will he do so?(Again, Baldacci has the proven skill...) Was this a case of a major adult writer saying, "It's just young adult?" I can't believe that David Baldacci would do that. This is simply too different from his other works--and more importantly an entirely DIFFERENT WRITING STYLE AND VOICE--so different that I again ask, "Did Baldacci really write this?"

If it had been properly edited, this could be a new Harry Potter--even a prequel to Harry Potter. The world does have incredible similarities. (Could it be there was another writer? I don't know and my mind can spin conspiracies.) I hope, if there are further books, the editors will actually put their hearts into helping Baldacci raise the bar considerably.

It also gets 4 stars for aspiring writers. Take your pen and get busy editing a hard copy and see how you can easily elevate, so damn easily, raising it to 5 stars.

*Unfamiliar with the term Mary Sue? Google it. I've included Priscella Spencer's Harry Potter's list that you'll need to modify. You'll have to move down to sections 3, 4, & 6 for the obvious ones here.

DON'T take me wrong. An author includes herself in every character, but the heavy interior angst in this book screams self-insertion--the author providing a point of view that is the character's.

Writing Systems: What Works for Me

I've been asked how I organize my research and my work. Here is the short answer, and who would ever want the long answer? LOL

Plain old word doc by chapter here and extensive excel sheets: for characters, for chapters names, for scene goals (reason for being there), for color highlighting the rating tension level of scenes (to assure that it is ever ratcheting up as the book progresses), for color highlighting tension type such as action, sexual, etc within scenes to make sure they balance nicely, and for word count by chapter, by section, and total for entire work.

I keep image files: of characters, of locations, of maps, of research type photos such as weapons or costumes. I keep excel sheets with web addresses for my research sites.

I keep a 'to do' list while re-reading or editing--so I don't waste creative juices editing when the muse is speaking into my ear. I can then go back and fix what I had found objectionable when my mind wants to wear the editor's cap.

I work off flash drives, which are effective and easy, but I keep one steno pad (or more) for every manuscript where I doodle and work out complicated world info. I fanatically back up on two separate computers as well.

I never begin a second full draft edit without first using shrunken manuscript concept to find white space, then dialog vs description, then dialog without good physical action, then I fix that first. This is followed by searches for every 'ly' adverb, for most, always, just, seems etc and the infamous 'said'. (Seriously have you heard an Audible book that has a gazillion 'said' after 'said' after 'said'--give my ears and my intelligence a break folks. If you didn't show me who that character speaking is through action and that character's voice--you already lost me!) Shrunken manuscript is crucial. I keep everything. That helps me cut my babies. They are there if I change my mind.

I believe that the Google cloud will be my final home, but for now--I don't have the hard control I want to have on the editing process there.

Some downsides: Once I compile it into the single manuscript after I've gone through several drafts--life gets complicated. As I set up pages for agents, I can't keep from tweaking, and those tweaks don't always make it back into the original manuscript. (Not sure they should--often times the tweaks are god-awful mistakes.) Problem is that I start to get confused on which is the most recent vetted pages and are they in the single manuscript or not? I don't know if other writer programs would solve that or not. Generally those are e-mails that I save, so they are located on a whole different platform.

I keep everything, labeling chapters 01.23 (Chapter 1, rewrite 23 etc) for example. And yes, that is a 23. I begin every writing session re-reading and editing the last scene, then move on to 'get-her-done' writing. If it takes a week to get that scene right, I can have seven versions before I ever begin real editing. FYI, that next scene is firm in my mind: who, what, when, why, how, emotions & conflicts of each character set, etc.

I tried Scriver beta, but it was more complex than what I use. I don't like to fight a system while I'm writing. Also, my Toshiba has a cool bulletin board that is excellent, but over time the short cuts can get lost and I have to relocate and reattach--especially when I do my year end back up into a safe deposit box. That bulletin board though gives me one central location to easily click back and forth. My bulletin board has over six projects, and two of those are series. Proof that the visual nature of a bulletin board is invaluable for organization.

Bottom line? Your system shouldn't fight with how you write from day one through publication date. If you obsess with systems, you'll never get to the real work and fun of simply writing. Systems can be a safe haven for procrastinators. Are you a writer or a procrastinator? Speaking of procrastination, just how much of your precious writing time are you blogging, facebooking, tweeting, e-mailing? How much true writing time have you lost? If you haven't figured it out by seeing how infrequently I blog, you can take that as a positive sign my WiP is gripping me tightly.

Just write and your system will evolve by your third manuscript. It will be perfected by your eighth!

Stubborn Scenes

When a scene refuses to behave...

Try to fix it.
Try to fix it.
Try to fix it.
Finally---cut it.

Why couldn't I have figured that out before I spent an entire day on it?

First Drafts are Difficult Little Toddlers... Writing Craft Rules According to Meg

Recently I did some crit work for friend. As part of that, I found myself finding similar errors repeated and rather than bleed all over her wonderful work, I compiled a list of what I've learned and placed in my writer's tool box.

Rules are meant to be broken, however as Ms. Amy Boggs recently discussed, "Know them before you break them, and know why you decided to break them."

Here are my rules for discussion or to have you add your own. These are the ones that lend themselves well to lists. As to character development, plot development, tension, climaxes etc--I yield to JB's writing postings.

First drafts are difficult little toddlers… Writing Craft Rules According to Meg

Stolen from too many sources to remember.

*Avoid word repetition & action repetition (see how irritating the 'repetition' is? And yep, I did it again.)
*Seek out the simple verb: I ‘needed to hurry’ vs. I ‘hurried’.
*Seek out white space—whenever possible. Many times you ‘report’ through exposition what is said, when the actual dialog might be the better choice. This rule comes from too many sources to name. Mark Nieson lays out his pages on the floor, stands on a chair, and takes a look at the physical black and white on the pages, Darcy Patterson (sp) recommends the shrunken manuscript, i.e. literally shrink your manuscript to 20% or less and look at the black and white on your printed pages. Myself, I like easy and am occasionally OCD, I highlighted dialog one color, exposition another, and then I shrank it on the monitor. I mean WOW! Too much one color—get busy! You double click on the culprit and fix it, then shrink it down and move to the next. Shrinking gives you tons of pages on your monitor to see at once.
*Seek Out the long sentence. 90%, or what feels like 90%, of revision is tighten, tighten, tighten. One trick that I learned was to look for them. (Yes, I highlighted them and researched where and why I used them. I even shrunk the manuscript to see their positioning. Then I reviewed the best novels I had on hand to see how they used them. Meg Roskoff uses the most beautiful long sentences to end her chapters.
Long sentences can be beautiful and elegant; they can be the signature of an excellent writer.<--yes, I love this sentence that I wrote. (I took a long sentence Univ. of IA Great Courses class on the subject.) My take in YA, use long sentences as a contrast for emphasis, not as routine practice. In YA, use them when you can truly construct that beautiful, perfect, well-written sentence, but don’t lie to yourself about the quality. Edit 90% of long sentences to the core reason for it to have been written.
*’ly’ adverbs-never use them. (Yet, remember, there are no nevers in writing!  ) Learned from Brett Anthony Johnston, Harvard-creative writing & also Browne & King, Self-editing for Fiction Writers –As Brett said, when you use ‘ly’ adverbs, you haven’t found the right verb.
*Avoid re-capping at the end of a paragraph. Either you wrote it well the first time, making the re-cap un-nesessary, or you didn’t. Trust your writing. Trust your reader. Then keep your main character from re-capping inside the paragraph or in dialog.
*Pimp the senses--all the time. Use them to further plot, character and to set the scene. I took a workshop at Univ. of IA with Mark Nieson and spent an entire year exploring ‘how to write with senses’. Time well spent.
*Know when you write tension, and then don’t stomp on it with extemporaneous exposition—simply nail it. Yeah, this one is actually mine, probably borrowed from my debater coach daughter. I’m defining tension as applicable to romance, to action, and to high emotion packed scenes.
*Every chapter, every paragraph, every sentence, and every word has to earn its place in your writing. Better yet, scenes must earn that right for two, three, even better four or more reasons that further your plot/character. If they don’t cut them. This is an old and tried rule. Even elegant exposition is only good if it is there for a reason. Literally ask, ‘how does this sentence meet the goal of this scene?’ And ask it for every sentence. If it doesn’t, then you have to pull it or edit it to do so. Or with your historical information that you wish to impart, you must tie it to furthering the plot.
*’my mother’, ‘my father’, ‘my parents’ In 1st POV you are inside your character’s mind; your character will say, “Mother.” You might have an historical conscious decision to do this. If so, be aware that editors see it as a ‘beginners’ error. Jill Santopolo, author, editor, goddess.
*Use the most active verb possible to ‘brighten’ your writing. ‘I heard’, ‘I felt’, ‘I saw’, ‘I helped’ are reporting verbs, not ‘showing’ verbs. Use instead the direct, simple verb that follows. Never use 'seemed'. It either is or it isn't. Don't play word games without a reason.
Example: “I heard the sound of horses.” You are telling the reader what they are supposed to hear rather than showing me the sound. Alternative: “Horse hooves clopped—one, two, three, four and then one scrapped off rhythm like it had stumbled, struggling as it climbed.” See the strength of my poor example? You get the idea though.
*Be conscious of your beats. Uhm, I can’t really explain this one. This is my rule, but it is similar to what was taught in the long sentence Great Course. It’s something you know when you read it. Here is an example of great beat use in your work (with one minor edit on my part).
“Off to my left was the men’s dressing room where I never went. (5 beats) Off to my right was the women’s dressing room where I went twice a day. (6 beats) In front of me was the Earl’s bedroom where I was never to go. (7 beats after I edited)” And it’s in the classic story telling three sequence! Simply delicious! Well done!
*Kill all modifiers. Browne & King. (remember, rules are made to be broken) ‘most’ ‘still’ ‘just’ ‘only’ ‘almost’ 'always' weaken your writing.
*Search ‘I’ and when you see several in a scene, rewrite until the majority disappear. Scott Tremble’s comment, ‘Your character is full of herself.’ Ouch, hurt and learn.
*Seek out and judge your chapter endings. These are crucial and I think they terrify editors, because every ending is a spot the reader will possibly put down the book—and they may not return! Make sure they are special in some intimate way so the reader is ‘involved’ with your character.
*Book and Chapter beginnings: Dialog best. Action next. Dialog and action together is outstanding! Sorry, I can’t remember who gave these to me. I think it was an author panel at MiHi that included Connie Willis, Patricia Briggs, Tim Powers, among others.
*Protagonists must protag! Protagonists must be reactive and then proactive to their circumstances. Make your main character react! Writing without that reaction is reported, not emotionally rich. Sharelle Byars Moranville – children’s author, NBA nominee, but I think she stole it from another author/teacher at U of I.  That was the title of the other author’s class. See my scary, scary bones note later. (She referenced the instructor.)
*Use metaphors. They are your friend—just don’t mix them.
*Go for the jugular. When you are in touch with your character’s internal feelings, dig deeper and get more out of them. This is my rule.
*Look for the beauty in your writing, and then emphasize it through conscious artful decisions from your writer’s craft toolbox.
*English editing uses ‘s’ on toward, forward, backward, etc. American editing doesn’t use the ‘s’. Jill Santopolo, author, editor at Philomel, instructor.
*Do not personify body parts. Anj Sachdava, but it’s an olden goldie.
*’ing’ verbs are weaker than ‘ed’ verbs. Always chose the strongest verb. Chris White

Closing in on the final-final-final (& one more final?) 5.2010--> another final!

Dearest Authoress,

How strange to have you write this now as I'm reading my final-final-final (and maybe one more final) edit. I have an unusual confidence in this work. Of course, that won't mean that it gets published, but there is an intangible sense that this novel is different and far superior from the rest. So, if we are sharing the same feeling, then yes.

This manuscript has a strangely Zen-like rightness that I've never felt before. The corrections that I'm making are so deep into the craft, places that I've never known existed before. I'm asking, "do these three main characters have their own distinct voice?" "Is there really enough white space in this chapter?" "This tiny (read as paragraph) drags, what can I change to make it excellent?" "How can I punch up the humor (or tension or suspense etc) in this scene?" etc.

Perhaps more important is that there are no questions about continuity, no questions about if I have the perfect level between giving a clue--not too much, not too little. This, of course, is thanks to a wonderful editor and beta readers. I had an entire writing group helping me on one complicated, short description. We worked on it for a full hour and a half! One sentence!

Is this a publishable work--for the first time, 'yes, absolutely, without question.' What an amazing place to be! A new platform that I didn't even know existed before now! So high five to you Authoress. I got to this level in part through comments of knowledgeable people who did crits. This feeling is a wonderful place to be. Published or not, I've earned my writing wings at last.

Meg, writer hoping to be author

Changes. Stroking out the babies. Fighting with tech. Mind meandering.

Hi all, I had an epiphany on the way to re-reading my YA. The forward flash remains as an always can be added or removed, but Chapter 1 (meant to be mundane and normal by this pig headed writer) was completely changed. I received some feedback that they didn't get pulled into the story until they were in the airplane and the parents go missing. I pulled out only the essential items as to plot, character etc from Chapter 1 and inserted them into the next two chapters. I cut a great many of my 'babies', which I think was right. Those babies weren't earning their spot in carrying forward plot and enriching the characters. (But I liked the pelican shaped principle---NO -- cut.)

I think, first, second, and third blush with it that I now have a starting chapter that will pull the reader in, if I chose to yank the forward flash. I added some sibling sparing to up interest level and highlight their relationship more.

As I worked those chapters it felt so perfect, too perfect. So then I started worrying, 'Was I lying to myself, because I wanted the new format?' So it's off to my un-emotional editor for her opinions.

Onward!